There’s a great line in the “Matrix” movies. Neo comes out of the Oracle’s apartment, anxious to tell Morpheus that he’s not “the One”. With the words a 1/2 inch behind his lips on the cusp of being released, Morpheus doesn’t miss a beat and anticipates what’s about to happen. Staring across the hall yet, he utters, “what was said, was said for you alone”. In essence, the words were meaningless to anyone BUT Neo.
I’ve been leaning on God pretty hard the last few months. Physically up to and during our North Indian trip. Emotionally and spiritually as I struggled to understand where the promised relationship “stickiness” had gone in our “C”hurch lives. But most recently, financially, as I obeyed a clear signal to climb back out on the branch and resign from my 2nd – and very stable paying – job.
Sitting here today, I’m jealous of people who journal their prayer life – the requests, what they heard at the time of the response, the peace they had with their obedience. Because the last few days, I’ve been scared out of my mind. I’m Jerry McGuire waking up the morning after the memo – sorry, mission statement.
On Sunday night, we had dinner with a pretty cool couple and their kids. As though on cue, I started talking, and talking….and talking. When I shut up, and listened, I heard an amazing story. A story that paralleled my own, professionally speaking. Another guy out on his own branch. Things that he had gone through had happened to me, as well. Some good – mostly bad or unexpected or at the very least, disruptive. “How much do you trust Me?”, stuff. He had my undivided attention.
Dads and husbands are in weird positions, lately. Recent studies and statistics show that we live in the most productive society in the world…of all time. Recent developments in technology, as well as the trend for employers asking remaining employees to do more with less has produced an uber-class of workers. We work harder, more efficiently – with no defined time boundaries anymore. And then there’s guy like me…and this other guy. Men who wake up Monday and have no idea what (if anything) will be sitting in the account on Friday.
My new friend reminded me, as an “Oracle” of sorts why my prayer was answered the way it was. He didn’t know it, but his testimony was a perfectly placed and desperately needed link in an ongoing conversation I’m having with God about my stay on Earth V1.0. He helped me see that the branch is a great place to be. See that He shows up in ways we can’t anticipate and expect. With seemingly random solutions that make your arm hairs stand up on Friday when you muster the cajones to actually look at the account.
And somehow the whole thing brings you, your wife, and your kids together into the conversation and the adventure. And you realize that they’re all seeing you become the dad and husband that you never thought you’d be. Albeit kicking and screaming in mirconic stages, as spiritual scalpel after scalpel is applied. In my new friend’s case, an all too real scalpel as well that amplifies his journey to a holy crap level.
When the 60 hour per week ‘idol’ was peeled away, I got to meet this guy Michael who looks a lot like me…who asks his wife and kids and close friends to pray for daddy on Sales Webinar nights. This guy who can finally admit to his wife when he’s scared, and receive the comfort that comes in an “it’s okay” from the other side of the bed, late at night. As we both remember, and as of Sunday are both reminded that He never lets us down. He always meets our needs, and even blesses us enough to pour over into other’s lives.
Short post today. I want to finish up some things and see if I can’t ride with Karen to go pick up the kids today from their schools. There are perks out here on the branch. Invaluable, giggly perks.